GAME THAT BEGAN IT ALL..

salam

well, you yourself said me that have stared your game card in philosophy again, its your rule dear , so be keen minded while you ask to enter it.

i hope not to get hurted of my previous mail/game. i thought its not fairly to leave after all those discussion we had, so i decided to keep on your game . you are not amonge those persons who accept things easily so if i want to make you believe something or understand it , i have to provide a fied in which you experience that yourself .Ramiz all what i said in my previous mail was too suffering for me to say because they werent what i think about you. just because i talked about different angles and observing things with changing view angles, i had to give an example too. you know shima as a fair logical person, sometimes angry and harsh but , this is from one angle, another one is that: she doesnt like Ramiz , chatting with him nor sharing experience, this resent Shima suddenly appeared in previous mail is not fair at all and she has pretended as a friend all these times and had never said all those things! you see....its quiet different now, but the fact is : i offered you and influenced you as i decided to , i though about another personality and experienced being that kind of shima , not the one you guessed before , and its changing view angle dear.in creating personality in story its the same, its what i call DIVING , if you want to know someone , experience being that person, ...you know its too inner , you experience being anotherone with whole your cells, so you will know that too.

maybe not perfectly because persons are unexpected like life.

but as a writer you must feel persons and put yourself instead them think like them as well as they do. then you create them withing you and must keep it until you feel domination to that , i mean you must feel being them as well as your existance. Ramiz these pesonalities play vital role for you , you thought are important too but before all these you must know firsty of all : what is supposed to be offered totally? have you experienced that yourself or you are just recommending it without testing? what is wrong and right in that? from which angle right can be considered right and wrong as wrong??? Khalil say : which one is sinner ...the one who crime in his mind or the one who does it actually? i think both of them somehow are but why the second one will be punished ? why rarely people consider his condition as a criminal? maybe if each of us were instead of him would do the same ...! i dont want to make it like a court of law but im trying to show you that changing your view angle can change many things like readers emotions! so you must know that from which angle you are going to create them .

there is a short story by Tagore : a wrong man in workers' paradise, maybe you have read it, its a short one with 2 main personalities , you cant say it has describes personalities but at the end you have their influence on your inner part and you can imagine them despite he didnt mention that much details . its because he just created them , dive in them and has experienced being them , so easily he could communicate with them and make it easy for readers to do the same, its tasting before recommendation.its creation and to be honest is hard to make a good one out of it but its not impossible!

dear you get involved in humanity problems and are trying to magnify some things for them as a new way towards betterment but as long as you dont know how is to be instead them, your recommendation and stories cant be influential .

know them feel them and remember that judging is very hard, the personalities whom you must create , arenot your slaves, they are indipendence persons and its the writer who make them real , just real persons play vital roles and with a coexistance with them you can ask them to carry your thought . if your thoughts are true ones , they can be found among your personalities , im not talking about a machine which produce mulded figures and cover them with different or same color. you must feel and experience their realities wholly , totally and as perfect as possible, then after creation you can choose a especial angle to offer to you readers. so even without explaining too much about them in your stories they can put impression and play real vital rule and can carry your thought too. in fact the personalities can do it whenever ur thought match with them not artificially but really.

sorry for behaving like that trough my previous mail but there was no other way to tell it , an example was needed.

just wanted to show u that different angles make an innocent like a wild one or vise versa .

Ramiz ur cridit is because of you yourself not because of my causin, i said that to pay ur attention toward this fact that you can see an act , a relation or an event from different angles and it can change the reality of each one different.

about myself, u said i havent been open in behaviour and mystrious, its because you appeared from the first with this fact that wanno communicate through my view toward philosophy or such a thing. i have shared it just with 1 person up to now and that is one of my friend , we experienced all those with each other , and too inner , so even just a simple word can mean a lot for both of us without explanation , there are somethings that u cant express with these alphabet ,and many things are more beautiful while they are inside, many things are like fire and with expressing them no one can hear anything.....

another reason is my great intrest to symbolism and its beauty, i use it alot, ..ramis that shima who other knows never talk about these kind of things so obvious bcz i have them within...and will express them trough my paintings and sculptures , maybe noone understand them bnut im still expressing them in that way bcz it matches with me more than anything else , shima who others know is not in this way.

symbolism has increased the level of my expectation , while month ago you said this trend of thinking has stoped for you i thought that its my fault to make u feel stopped or start making a border for your endless land , many times i suffer of low depression bcz iam idealist more than its usual and its out of my hand, feeling others and diving has brought others prb for me and i many times feel ....like exploding . too mucvh from within and due to my ideals i always offer and donate them, im not sorry about it bcz it was my choice . finally im what i am and thats what i have chosen to be, life is beautiful as much as can make u fall in love with a simple small stone opr a cloud in the sky, yes im so much crazy to fall in love with existance when i communicate with them and their messeges dive in me .

im not mysterious dear , but at the end of my road i will breath this fact which make me in love with everything and make my mind automatically think and analyse it, bcz of this im always restless withing and important routine icon in life are not that much important for me . i dont know how long it will be like this but ive matched with it and all those how have been like this .

dear if Khalil is ur teacher and you thing you must follow footprint just remember his book " prophet". when the prophit was leaving everbody asked for advices but none of them kept his hand to feel warmth, as he said in another book jesus is the only one whe spend his birthday in loneliness, everybody wants salvation of him but no one wants to sit a moment with him, everybody wants them as a media for themselves and as long as u dont walk near them but always behind them by following footprints, you cant test what they are talking about. nor even feel what they are yielling.its like that story which the old man went to a city where all of its residents were just worn glasses and noone was blind ( this is one of mine , throw it away and noe even dont remember its sentences). its up to you....

one of my favorate facts is: who is really dead??? the one in the grave or those who are wlking and acting automatically, for me those poets who actually died even hundred years ago are still alive, they havent gone anywhere that i follow their footprints, they are daily within us and accompany with u whenever is needed but if u look at their footprints it will be the same story as ............. .

if u think still there is a mystry here u can ask it too.

hope to be successful and hope to be sorry of starting this game with me again.

WHEN ASKED , WHAT IS LOVE LIFE ??

It always comes back to her.
She is not impossible, I thought, she is not too much to hope for !
What would Shimoda* tell me, if he were sitting here, if he knew I hadn’t
found her yet?
He’d say something obvious, is what he’d say. The strange thing about his
secrets was that everyone of them was simple.

What if I’d told him I’d failed, searching for her? He’d study his cinnamon
scroll of inspiration, he’d run his fingers through his back hair and he’d
say, ‘Nikhil has it occurred to you that’s not the way to find her, looking
from town to town, that’s the way to lose her?’

Simple. And then he’d wait without a word for whatever I had to answer. I
would have said to that, if he were here, ‘Ok flying over horizons is not
the way. I give up. Tell me. How do I find her?’

He’d narrow his eyes, annoyed I’d asked him instead of myself.

‘Are you happy? Are you doing this moment, exactly what you most want to do
in the world?’

Habit would have me answer of course I am, of course I am running my life
just the way I please.
Came the cold of that night, however, the same question from him, and
something had change. Am I doing this moment what I most want to do?
‘No!’
‘What a surprise!’ Shimoda would have said. ‘What do you suppose that could
mean?’

Slow, quiet shock. A buzz of questions.

For a moment I tasted my new ignorance, sifted it on my tongue. What an I to
do? Whatever will become of me?

When one door closes, they say, another opens. I can see a door just shut
and behind it are crates and boxes of adventures that changed me from who I
was into who I am. But it’s time to move on. So there’s the door that just
opened?

If I were an advanced soul right now, I thought, not Shimoda, but an
advanced me, what would I say to me?

A moment passed, and I knew what I’d say, ‘Look at everything around you
this moment Nikhil, and ask, “What is wrong with this picture?”’
I looked around me in the dark. The sky wasn’t wrong. What could be wrong
with stars exploding diamonds a thousand light-years overhead, and me
looking out at the fireworks from a safe place? Nothing wrong.

* retired Messiah

What’s wrong with this picture is this: She isn’t with me! And I’m going to
do something to change that now!
Slowly, Nikhil, I thought. Be uncharacteristic this one time; please not so
fast! Please. Think, first. Carefully.

And sure enough. There was another question in the dark, one I had not asked
Shimoda, on he’d not answered.

Why should it be that the most advanced of people, whose teachings twisted
into religions, last for centuries, have always been alone?
Why we see radiant wives or husbands or miraculous equals with whom they
share their adventures and their love? How often do we find their soul
mates, glorious and powerful beloveds right close by?

Sometimes? Once in a while?

I swallowed, throat suddenly dry.

Never.

The most advanced people, I thought, they’re the ones most alone!
The sky turned slow frosty clockworks overhead, uncaring.
Do these perfect ones not have soul mates because they’ve grown beyond human
needs?
No answers from the blue Vega, shimmering in he harp of stars.
Attained perfection would not be any problem for a lot of lifetimes, but
these people are supposed to show us the way. Have they said forget about
soul mates because soul mates do not exist?
Crickets chirped slow: could be, could be.

Against that wall of stone my night crashed to its end. If that’s what they
say, I growled to myself, they’re wrong.

I wondered if she’s agree, wherever she was this minute. Are they wrong, my
dear unknown. Wherever she was, she didn’t answer.

Thus I hit the streets on a planet of four billion five hundred million
souls, and in that moment I began looking full time for the one woman who,
according to the best people who ever lived, wasn’t there at all.


Nikhil sharda [I don't really think he knows that this was lying with me, anyways i'sm using it, because this is what explains, what i want to say]..

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